Home » Opinion » Naming Your Motorcycle

Naming Your Motorcycle

zippy OK, BB King calls his guitar “Lucille” and we all know Kevin Costner played a character named “Dances with Wolves”  The story is that the “Dances with Wolves” name came from what he was doing the first time they saw him. Cool. But what about naming your motorcycle? Using that “first time I saw it” logic, I guess I would name my motorcycle “Sitting in the Showroom Looking Cool” or maybe “Plop You Butt Down Here, Big Boy“. Naw, too long, how about “Unaffordable” or “Dream On, Alice“?A lot of folks name their motorcycle and I have completed a totally unscientific web search on motorcycle names and I now have the results here to share with you.

Female names seems to be the most popular but I didn’t see any Mary’s or Blanche’s or Cynthia’s. I did see a Betsy. They always were named by male owners and they ran towards the exotic like Mona, Natasha and even Katrina. I can only guess what female bike owners would name their bikes. Maybe Antonio, Clint or Brad. Or even the more exotic Spike.

Let’s move on.

I ran across a bike named “Runt” by a screen name “Road Momma” who rides a Suzuki Boulevard. There was another one named “Grunt“. (If these two bikes were parked together, they would be “Grunt Runt” or “Runt Grunt“, groan.)

The bike’s color seems to spawn some names;

  • Black Betty
  • Mighty Whitie (What about Tighty Whitie?)
  • Pearl
  • Cherry Bud“. He is Black Cherry Pearl and my best friend’s bike is named “Stud”, so its Bud and Stud….Girly thing…

Or for the more metaphysical riders, I found.

  • MONGO, conqueror of the universe!!
  • Rhiannon… Celtic goddess of the moon and inspiration, the enchanting fairy princess who rode so swiftly no horseman could catch her…
  • Thunderchild
  • The Hell B1tch
  • Mr. Breeze II

Or how about.

  • Piglet” – cause she’s the smallest hawg….
  • Stupid Thing“. Mostly because that is what my wife calls it. “Are you riding that Stupid Thing again??
  • Chips“, like the TV show (groan again)

Or for the more hardcore or colorful bikers.

  • Stinky
  • Dogbreath
  • Sidewinder
  • Deadbeat
  • Snotface
  • Ratso

While most of these names are not what I would call my bike, I am sure that they are names that mean a lot to the respective bike owners.

One thing you have to watch out for is inadvertently calling your motorcycle a name that you really don’t want to end up with. Just like “Betelgeuse” if you say it three times, you are stuck with it. Next thing you know your co-workers are asking you if you did anything special over the weekend and you tell them that “Yeah, me and the wife took a ride on ‘The Vibrator’ and had a wonderful time.” Not good.

What do I call my bike? Do you mean instead of motorcycle or bike as in “Come on babe, let’s take a ride on the motorcycle?” Well, to be honest, after this research, I am now thinking of calling my bike “Zippy” or “Zipper”.

What the hell, it’s better than “Tighty Whitie“.